K: It started when I was joking around talking to the universe about not realizing my genuine love for women until now. I know I am still very young, but it is so interesting for me to look back at certain memories and know what I know now and laugh. I took the concept of talking to the universe and ran with it for this song. I started with writing out different experiences I had on my mind and then realized how much I had to say so I played around with the amount of detail in my lyrics. Eventually, I brought my song to a talented songwriter I was connected to named Paulina Levitan and we reworked the lyrics and structure of the song to what it is today!
AH: One of the lyrics that stood out to me was, “All these years I had to go kissing boys I did not know” and beforehand you mention pretending to be friends with a girl when you wanted more, how was it like for you to have to keep your feelings a secret?
K: The craziest part is I didn’t even realize what I was keeping a secret. We grow up being asked about our “boyfriends” and “boys we like in school” but rarely are we educated and given the space to understand we can love whoever we want and be whatever we want. I have met so many great guys and have had the best guy friends, but there is no love that I have ever experienced than with certain women I’ve dated.
AH: Is there someone special in your life right now that “Outrageous” could be about or is it more about coming to terms with your sexuality?
K: “Outrageous” is honestly about a number of different people throughout my life. I’ll be fully transparent cause why not! One of the experiences was with a friend in college. She and I were extremely close and then she started dating someone and our friendship dwindled which yes, made me sad, but mostly I felt heartbroken. Friendships are as important as relationships to me but this one hit a little too close to my heart (laughs). I didn’t realize until years later when I came out that I definitely had romantic feelings mixed up in there.
AH: Who was the first person you felt comfortable talking to about your sexuality?
K: That is a good question! I am sitting at a coffee shop right now and answering these and this one really had me stop and stare out the window for a solid minute. I would say the very first person was my mom. We were both in Italy and I had met my ex-girlfriend there. At the time she was just a friend, but I remember expressing to my mom that I am so attracted to her.
AH: What was the hardest part about deciding you were going to make a song about your sexuality?
K: It was the easiest decision ever!! I love talking about my queerness. I am lucky enough to have space for that in my environment and so I want to speak about it as openly and genuinely as possible for those that don’t have that in their space. Hopefully, my words can reach them and be that for them in some way. For a while, I battled this need to prove myself in the queer community. I think after becoming comfortable talking about my sexuality in general, it didn’t matter who I was talking to and what their reaction would be. I simply didn’t and don’t care. Unless it’s positive and filled with love… then I LOVE IT!!!!!
AH: What inspired your visual concept for “Outrageous”?
K: My lil ol’ crazy imagination! It started with the dancers. I knew I wanted three scenes including a dance, showing the intimacy between me and my good friend (girlfriend in the video), and also a water tank moment. Then, I started planning each scene and preparing. I choreographed [the video] with Amy Morgan, and we looked for dancers in the queer community that would add amazing energy, and then scheduling rehearsals, etc. I also wanted to make sure that the whole scene was not sexualized and instead showed more tenderness, sincerity, and the connection between us. Don’t get me wrong it was sexy, but also so playful and fun to film! Lastly, I wanted to add in some queer history to the video, so I printed out articles about LGBTQ+ people who struggled in the public eye, laminated the articles, connected them with string, added in some beautiful digital art by Niky Piancastelli, and had it float in the water tank with me!
AH: How is “Outrageous” different from your previously released song “Lately”?
K: I would say they are such different vibes yet still both represent me so well. “Lately” is more of my emotional side and “Outrageous” is my playful, not-so-serious side. The tempo is more upbeat, and I would say it hits the pop genre more than the R&B soul.
AH: I saw on Instagram that you attended the West Hollywood Pride Festival earlier this month. How did you enjoy your time there?
K: It was actually my first Pride ever!!! I LOVED IT!! AHHH I LOVE PRIDE AND JUST CELEBRATING OURSELVES AND ALL THE GOOD ENERGY. Okay, I’m done screaming but WOW I loved it so much!
AH: Were there any celebrities that you were excited to see at the festival?
K: Oh my gosh yes, all my best friends. I couldn’t wait to ask to take pictures with them!
AH: You also had an “Outrageous” single-release party in West Hollywood earlier this month. How was celebrating with everyone?
K: I am speechless. Seriously. The number of people that came out to support and give me their love was so incredible. These people fuel me to create more art. They are all so special and I am beyond grateful to have them in my life. I tell this to them every day.
AH: Is “Outrageous” a part of a larger project or will it be a standalone single?
K: This one will be a standalone single, but the next release is coming up in summer and that one is gonna be so much fun as well. I am in the midst of brainstorming for the music video already.
AH: When people hear “Outrageous” how do you want them to feel?
K: I want them to feel so good like they can laugh about life and just dance with their best friends.
AH: What are some words of encouragement for someone who might feel nervous about coming out?
K: Take it easy on yourself. You don’t need to come out to anyone but yourself. If you are not ready, then that is okay. Make sure you build that connection and trust with yourself because you tell anyone because how others react is not on you, it’s on them! & P.S- I think you’re sexy and dope.
AH: Where can we follow you to keep up with your music?
K: Keep up with my on IG @kailaya.art and my website www.kailaya.art
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