Last Week Was Lit XX

I’ll save the milestone speech for XXV which also coincides with the end of the year but thank you. If this is your first Last Week Was Lit, your twentieth, or somewhere in between I’m extremely gracious and hope you get as many laughs from these stories as I do.

Also stay tuned for how to subscribe to our newsletter, which will be just like these but even spicier. And as I forgot to do so last week, shout out to Gavin and Meeghan for their work on the LWWL arrow logo. Hit them up if you need any graphics work done.

To your recap:

The lack of institutional control in the Biden family is absurd

  • For the uninitiated let’s catch you up to speed
    • Joe Biden has/had two sons: Beau and Hunter
      • Beau passed away, leaving behind a widow, a son—named Hunter—and a daughter
      • After Beau passes, Hunter swoops in a forms a relationship with his sister-in-law. Now being the stepdad to his niece and nephew—of whom his deceased brother named the kid after.
      • And now, even more drama with Hunter being a nasty man to his not-so-newfound family
  • This casts a negative light on all humans with last names as first names
  • And this is the grandpa we want to be the leader of the free world???

To be honest I thought this was the whole point of having children, no?

  • As long as the kid was working hard and loading the sammich up with extra pickles, what’s the problem?
  • I still haven’t had this glorious masterpiece of culinary magic, I’m hoping this sacrifice is what puts me in heaven
  • Serious question: Can Popeyes really afford to be firing folks at this point in time?

NBA Youngboy vs the NBA

  • Mr. Youngboy could’ve performed much better here. There were plenty of opportunities present as Ms. N was playing a 2-3 zone the entire contest
  • How did this turn from potential to Ms. N getting the Amanda Seales treatment?
  • Kuz has to go for 60 on Wednesday against the Pelicans as Mr. Youngboy is from Louisiana. I don’t make the rules

The only way to do Thanksgiving

  • I knew White Castle had a greater purpose in life!
  • This recipe came as someone’s way to add a little life to their grandmother’s stuffing. Either the grandmother gotta go or the granddaughter, people have stopped speaking to family for far less offenses than adding White Castle to the stuffing
  • We can all guess the “culture” of this family right? I don’t have to say it out loud?

The NCAA seems like they’re just guessing at this point

  • The important element here is Memphis fighting back against the NCAA, which is commendable for however long the fight continues
  • I’m led to believe—because I lean towards some conspiracy theories—the NCAA would only add the $11,500 piece if they knew he had it. Nasty
  • Hopefully soon this will all be a thing of the past

Trump 2090

  • If your first reaction to this isn’t, “now way is this real”, then we did not have the same reaction
  • I’m really going to miss this man, I get people are concerned with the country and all but I write articles this man—and his sidekick, the subject of the next article—give me the content I need. Don’t be selfish
  • A 73 year old man is the king of Twitter. Life goals

This is a bad rollout Kanye

  • I’m in a good mood so I’l try to give Kanye a bone: not ALL of his statements are completely off the deep end. He just needed to spend a little more time in English class or wherever you learn to use words correctly from
  • If Kanye could simply refrain from speaking for a year and spent that year in a studio I would be happy
  • He should then repeat that year for enternity

Ben and his one 3 isn’t enough to save the Sixers

  • Because the season is entirely too long, I don’t pay attention to the NBA until Christmas so I have no idea how the Sixers are doing but I still don’t think this is a team to write home about
  • I’m glad Ben has worked on his shooting, I hope he watched Giannis highlights all offseason long
  • Not to be that guy, but also staying out of the limelight I’m sure is very helpful to his career. And by limlight I only mean Kardashians

Somehow Mayor Pete found a way to spread mayo all over the Macarena

  • Why would you do this to Fall Out Boy??
  • This is whiter than green bean casserole and Merrell hiking boots
  • Pete’s going to wash Trump if this dance sweeps the country like The Wave seems to do at athletic contests

Taking Robert Downey Jr in Tropic Thunder to a new level

  • Wut?
  • You say “no one is going to know the difference” for Crispus Attucks not Harriet fucking Tubman
  • I’m not usually here for doxing folks but we gotta know the name of homeboy, for the culture

RACISM IS LEARNED 101

  • I’m still offended by this whole encounter
  • Bruv, you can’t snitch on me if you have a cone on your head.
  • Is there an Al Sharpton or a DeRay of dogs—yes the DeRay dog includes a vest—because no way is this acceptable

Nothing brings us together more as a nation than a black kid fighting a white kid

  • From here on out, any white kid with a quarter sleeve gets an automatic bid to the cookout
  • If your friends see, and record, you getting washed in Round 1 and egg you on for Round 2, you need new friends
  • Name this college: my guess is Temple

Throwback of the Week

As the patron saint of old music, I’m going to take one song from my iTunes library and share it with you every LWWL. Then when I run out of songs I’ll take some suggestions or in a few months, we’ll see…

What You Expect?