Last Week Was Lit XIX

Set scene: I am in a coffee shop in Brooklyn and next to me is this couple arguing about their relationship. It’s currently halftime so I am able to catch everyone up to speed. Dude’s name is Brandon. He has on salmon colored pants which initially made me side with him.

But being forced to eavesdrop because they are right next to me at this small coffee shop, he is down at least 15 points at the midway point. I hope I’ve never trailed this badly in an argument with a girlfriend before. Someone should hold classes for men in how to argue with your girlfriend and not be a dismissive, smug asshole. I’d pay money for that knowledge.

Anywho, to le recap:

I was lost after the mozzarella in the crust part

  • I guess we can’t really expect people to do the right thing like not vote for Trump when you got folks making bullshit like this
  • They really should have put way more cheese on top of the beans, there was a chance I could have forgiven this travesty if they just super loaded the cheese but clearly their judgment is to be questioned
  • I love beans as much as the next man but a bean should come no where near the glorious food that is pizza.

Kanye Krocs

  • One of my hills with Crocs is that people move the strap that’s SUPPOSED TO BE securing your foot to the front to turn them into slides, Kanye has fixed this with his creation
  • Problem is these moon shoes are probably $2000
  • I’m surprised MAGA isn’t stitched into the shoe somewhere

Prayers to Netflix during this difficult time

  • Peep Marcus’ article on this way back when
  • They have the X-Men cartoon series —when I learned Gambit was my spirit animal—so this means at some point they’ll have my money
  • Netflix should keep up the comedy bit, try to get in on movies going straight there instead of to the theatres and change their model that’s based—seemingly— on subscriptions they’ll survive the Disney venom

Why can’t the Knicks ever consistently do the right thing?

  • As the guys talked about on the pod (link at the bottom), this year is about tanking to get LaMelo Ball. There’s no reason to move on from Fizdale
  • The good thing about a team with a dysfunctional owner is you can always blame that person, so naturally this is all James Dolan’s fault
  • If the Knicks get LaMelo, I’m coming home (as my East Coast squad)

America sucks

  • How come when a billionaire football owner finally screws the public into forking over lots of money to get a new stadium built we don’t get a CGI image of their mascot doing the Soulja Boy?
  • I’d lose my mind if I was driving home and saw some wild shit like this

Nah not the OG!

  • This show has been on since 1965, I mean at this point you just gotta let it rock
  • The definition of job security is logging over 3,000 episodes of a show. What are you supposed to do when you’ve been playing a role from 1965 to 2018?!
  • NBC do the right thing, I need something to watch when I’m old

Cult almost complete

  • Is Kanye mentally stable enough to be the leader of a cult? Serious question
  • Osteen’s megachurch knowledge should be quite transferrable to whatever Kanye is up to in Wyoming
  • When you book Kanye do you give him a time limit to stick to or do you accept off rip that he’s taking over the entire show?

“If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying” -Eddie Guerrero

  • This, Spygate, Watergate. While cheating isn’t part of my own ethos, when you’re at the highest level an inch goes a mile. Not surprised an organization that gloats about signing a controversial player gets down like this.
  • What’s great to me is that had it not been for Fiers when—if ever—does this news come out? I can respect your griminess if you’re good at it


  • If this nastiness is what comes out up at the end of the meeting, the meeting isn’t over. This should never have seen the light of day
  • While we’re on this subject I still hate Tampa’s jersey, this cemented my belief the Glazers should not be trusted
  • Shame on you Mark Cuban


  • This is pretty cool I can’t front. This will be why I finally leave Apple in like 2 years, maybe
  • I need T-Mobile to understand its prime was the Sidekick. I miss it everyday. Bring back my childhood T-Mobile!
  • It’s almost 2020 I need a physical keyboard and a touchscreen. Need.

Overstanding Omarion

  • For starters: overstanding
  • Sometimes you have to move out the way and let people be. Omarion clearly knows these two individuals and if he can see the writing on the wall then let that play itself out. He wins the PR battle, they continue to look wild nuts and the entire thing probably goes down in flames anywho
  • This whole situation is crazy though, best believe Lil Fizz just turned his name into a verb. Nastiness!

Before we get to the end here so my boy Brandon turned it on in the second half and came away with the victory by admitting he was wrong and executing a timely hand hold. One of the few bright spots for men. Congratulate any Brandon you know.


Shout Outs

Brittany Stockwell

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