I don’t know if this is the best time to come back or the worst time, but boy the last week has never been more LIT! As for the month away, it was great. I almost caved a few times and brought y’all the magic earlier but I exercised self-control and I am very happy to be back at it.
Chief among the changes is me explaining what the hell this is for the newbies. Plus it makes this intro section look full since I don’t always be having much to tell y’all.
Last Week Was Lit covers the spiciest happenings of the past week in a sometimes serious, mostly lighthearted way.
Instructions
- There’s a headline with a link, you’re supposed to click that.
- And there are typically two or three bullet points with my commentary. Like so.
- Next is our Song of the Week Presented by Slamma 2 Gramma, your one-stop shop for vegan rolling papers—also check out the merch.
- And, last but not least, is our Shout Out, essentially our star of the week.
- That’s it, tell your friends. And subscribe to the newsletter.
- Do you know how long I’ve been trying to trade Camden to Pennsylvania?
- I cried laughing when I saw Gary was the selection for Indiana. The Hoosiers were telling on themselves with that one. Also, the Jackson 5 > everyone else in Indiana. I said what I said.
- I’ve never heard of Turkey Creek but for it to beat out Baton Rouge and New Orleans, it sounds like a place I don’t want to be at once the street lights come on.
- I don’t think there’s ever been a funnier mix up to occur. And best of all, everyone understood how DMX could’ve possibly gotten these two G-Unit affiliates confused.
- I hope DMX is well. Top 10 emcees of all-time. Argue with your pet about it.
- I feel like every G-Unit listener has at least ONE Tony Yayo verse they love. So that has to count for something right?
Does Madonna have enough Karma to pull this stunt?
- Double entendre, don’t ask me how. Just kidding, I meant Karma in the Reddit sense, IYKYK.
- How come we ain’t know about Madonna’s son? Where was his Sweet 16 episode on MTV?
- Okay real question, do you think he knows how to do the Cha-Cha Slide or the Electric Slide?
- I’m not the least bit offended that MJ was out here telling tall tales during The Last Dance, we’ve shown a tendency to let people we like to get away with stuff like this all the time. He’s still the GOAT.
- Y’all gotta relax though on the Isiah slander in the greatest point guards of all-time list. I be seeing it.
Biden handing out cookout invitations from now on?
- Serious question, what do you think Joe Biden brought to the annual Obama cookout? Do you think he was bold enough to try to bring potato salad? Cause I get strong potato salad vibes from Joe.
- It’s weird to me how long blackface has been a thing. Generally the dudes doing it don’t even make it funny and if you’re trying something that wild it better be hilarious.
- We leave the politics up to Kev, but if Biden don’t nail this VP pick he can kiss that 3-1 lead buh-bye.
- To be honest I couldn’t tell you a thing about Azelia Banks’ music. Somehow I am still probably her seventh biggest fan. Pure Gemini energy, I stan.
- Has Chappelle come out yet and denied these allegations? Cause I high-key believe Azelia.
- If I could trade Azelia to the June Gemini squad and give up Kanye, I’d pull the trigger on that move in a heartbeat. I’d throw in a third-round pick and a 2021 fifth-rounder to make sure the deal got done.
Should I feel guilty for liking Tom & Jerry now?
- I could watch Tom & Jerry all day long. For a show with little dialogue to it, it’s very entertaining. I’m also always here for TV show villains—and antiheroes—so Tom is my dude.
- On that villain note: Team Rocket and Cell were also the ?. It’s okay to admit it. This is a safe space.
- As for the link, it’s true. And as we’ve been able to tell during the last two presidential cycles, the candidates who are truly ‘not that bad for a politician’ don’t get much love from their respective National Conventions. ??♂️
Gimme The Loot, Gimme The Loot, I’m A Bad, Bad Boy
- I’ve largely calmed down from my Twitter rant and Facebook arguments and am now ready for letting these jokes fly. The link is about what prompted all this as that should always be the discussion BEFORE you flap your gums about the protests. At some point, enough has to be enough. And maybe these acts finally provide a level of consequence for white supremacists and cops moving forward.
Song of the Week Presented By Slamma 2 Gramma
Hustle Don’t Give By Apollo Brown & Che’Noir featuring Black Thought
?️ Shout Out ?️
The Best City in the World—Go Debate Your Mom—for having a peaceful protest of police brutality and the murder of George Floyd. #NewarkProtest